Is That You, God?

So first off, I am sorry it's been a while. I've not had the inspiration when I've had the time and not had the time when I'm inspired. This had led to an empty void of 3 months passing with no new thoughts. Regardless, I hope you think this one is good.

Have you ever wondered if you hear God or if that voice inside is just you? Well today that happened to me. Let me tell you what happened.

I found myself today at a cross roads, literally. I was standing at the t-junction deciding should I go left and try to get home before it rains on my clothes hanging on the line or should I go right and continue with my day's plan of going to the gym before dinner plans at a friend's place?

I was feeling a little tired and I could see the traffic that was stacked up and a little voice inside me said I should go home before it poured. Stopping for a moment, I asked if this was the Holy Spirit directing me. However, on the other hand I was just minutes away from a great workout, which I had been looking forward to and planning since the start of the day. I had all my things ready to go, maybe I was just being lazy by wanting to go home. ...So with that thought, I continued my original plan and walked myself to the gym.

Upon arriving at the gym I was still feeling a bit "ish" about the whole thing. Not sure if it was me or God giving this hesitation, I stopped outside to reconsider and then deduced it was me needing to, 'just do it,' as Nike would say. So I locked up my things and changed into my stunning workout clothes (yes, this is sarcasm, one can only be so stunning in shin-high socks and capris). I eyed the weight floor and saw I was there just before the wave of testosterone usually hits (around 5pm when work lets out and you can't find a bench or dumbbells to work with). With enthusiasm I found an unused weight bar and began my deadlift warmups.

I was one rep into my first set when I felt a nagging feeling; one that said I really should not be there. At this point I can no longer put it down to my laziness, I was reallllllllllllllly looking forward to throwing some weights around. With the fact that I had allowed myself to get all this way and I was still feeling the urge to go home, I said it would be better to leave and look like a crazy person (I mean really, who leaves the gym just 5 mins after changing into the proper clothes?) then to stick around if I were not meant to be there.

On the way home, traffic was still terrible, but it was not for this reason that I decided to walk. The voice inside me led me to just walk home. As I walked, I prayed, boy did I pray! I mean whatever the reason for interrupting my workout, it must have been pretty big. Everything and everyone who came to mind I lay at the feet of Jesus, I claimed healing by the blood, protection by the Son, new life, love and revelation! Walking still, I found that maybe it was not for any of these things that I was pulled from my ever-so-desirable workout. Maybe, just maybe, it was because God knew if He got my attention I would be focused on Him in those moments rather than being focused on adding 5 more kgs (yeah, here nothing is in pounds, that's a transition if you're used to lifting 25s and now can only do 10s haha) to the squat rack.

I'm grateful that I chose to listen and to go spend time with my Savior, who I realized is very jealous over me. Am I 100% totally convinced that God told me to quit my workout? No. But I'm happy that I did. And who knows, maybe something awful would have happened if I didn't listen, or maybe something good happened because I did leave; some things we will not know until eternity. There is no telling what harm is avoided or what good will come of one simple act of obedience. You say that it can't be obedience if I don't even know it was for sure God who was speaking.

Well, you have a point. However, I would much rather be obedient and look a little silly in the process to do something that isn't directly from God (obviously, I know this direction to leave the gym is not against God's will; if it were, that's a different story), then to miss what He has for me because I'm too busy trying to work out if it is really His voice.

Don't quote me on this, but I think that sometimes God will speak to us just to see if we are listening. He will give us chances to follow Him in what seems like a pointless task or a useless ask; then, only through our obedience will we find out that He was wanting to bless us through it. When we are faithful with the little things, we are then able to handle the bigger things. I can say that I was truly blessed by putting up my weights and walking home with Jesus. We talked, I prayed, He reminded me how He likes "us" time, and you know what, I even got a workout! That is no short walk home, I tell you. :)

So I challenge you, the next time you feel "prompted," instead of dismissing it as something crazy, take a step of faith, trust God and go for it! What do you have to loose by obedience? There's a lot greater loss in missing out when you go your own way, and there is so much to gain when you obey!

*Please note that God will NEVER contradict His written Word. If you feel that inner voice telling you something contrary to Scripture, it is NOT the Holy Spirit or of God. I hope this story helps you in your journey just a bit. :) Feel free to comment and share your own "Is this God or me?" moments. :)

Beginning with Questions

Revealer of the Unknown

I am so blown away by our God, there are days that just thinking of who He is and that He loves me makes me want to sing! (And I did, by the way, I'm pretty sure my neighbors may think I'm crazy now... Oh' well). This morning I was reading in Daniel, the passage where Nebuchadnezzar tells all the wise men to declare to him not only thee interpretation of his dream, but also the dream itself. My mind was baffled as I saw how God used this situation to illuminate all the wisdom of the day and make Himself the last one standing.

This is the God we serve. The God who declares mysteries and makes known revelations. Daniel Chapter 2:19-23: “Then Daniel praised the God of heaven 20 and said:

‘Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
    wisdom and power are his.
21 He changes times and seasons;
    he deposes kings and raises up others.
He gives wisdom to the wise
    and knowledge to the discerning.
22 He reveals deep and hidden things;
    he knows what lies in darkness,
    and light dwells with him.
23 I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors:
    You have given me wisdom and power,
you have made known to me what we asked of you,
    you have made known to us the dream of the king.’”

Knowing that the same is true today; for God is the same yesterday, today and forever, I am filled with excitement as I dream about the future. I know that there are great things to come and He has a plan, which, I believe, He wants to reveal. In the next couple of days, I purpose to take time away from my schedule to seek Him on what it is.

One of my dear supporters asked me the other day, what was my purpose in coming to Nairobi and how have I been working towards fulfilling it. I was a little taken aback by this question because it revealed that I have not clearly communicated these things to you. Please forgive this shortcoming. In the words ahead, I will attempt to clarify any misunderstandings and articulate my goals and how I’m working towards them.

My purpose in coming

First, I am not here in Kenya as your typical “missionary.” Meaning I am not living in a hut, going out each day pass out tracts to unbelieving villagers. Much to the contrary, I am living in the outskirts of Nairobi (a very developed and growing city), and working at a church to learn from them ways we, in the states, can do things better.

Back at the beginning of this year, the leadership at my church, River Run (RR), approached me and asked if I would be interested in helping them build a stronger partnership with Nairobi Chapel (NC – one of the churches forerunning the church-planting movement in Africa, who is working to partner with and plant churches across Kenya and around the world). I would do this through going on a staff exchange; meaning that I would spend one year with NC, learning their DNA and culture and working alongside them, in exchange for them sending one person to do the same at RR.

Overlooking the fact that I was not staff at RR at the time of this conversation, we discussed that my goal would be to go and learn about NC’s internship program called Kinara. Through this year-long internship program, they train leaders for ministry work *mainly to equip ministers to fuel the church plants. During their program, they work across all departments at NC, while simultaneously taking classes on leadership, Bible, godly character, and discipline. The goal in my learning about this internship program is to be well-equipped to start one similar at RR, when I return.

Up until this point, my involvement with the program has been slightly limited due to other responsibilities I had taken up at NC in the New Believers’ department. I had been helping disciple new converts, modify the teaching documents, and help create a training program for the Pastoral Care department. Moving into 2017, I am going to be managing the calendar of events for the Kinara department. This will give me and inside-look into how things operate and a hands-on way. In addition to helping the department in this way, I will be taking time to synthesize what I learn into a program that will be compatible in the American context.

Currently I am praying through what that will look like. I have several questions for how the ideal program will run. Please pray with me in regards to:

-          Who is our main target of people for internship? Is it people who are in school? Graduates?

-          How long the program will run (4 months, 7 months, 1 year, etc.)

-          What will be the objective of the program (ideally, where will we send interns after they are through? Is the goal to prepare them to be ministers in the corporate workplace, to be missionaries, to be church planters? -the answer here will help determine how classes are structured)

-          What classes need to be taught? -This will follow who our target audience is, if it is Bible school students then we don’t need to teach certain things then if it was High School graduates/

-          Where will the instructors come from? NC uses seasoned pastors and teachers to lead the interns in weekly classes, what does this look like at RR? Do we collaborate with other ministries? Which ones?

-          Where is God calling us to evangelize/minister? The internship program here has many different avenues for interns to evangelize in schools and around the country through missions.

These are the questions I am hoping to find answers to in the next season of my time here. Looking at the task ahead, I am holding my peace by remembering that I serve the same God as Daniel, the same God who is the great revealer of mysteries. He is the One with the answers because He has already written the future. 

Picture Perfect Postcard

The name of my blog is, "My Life is a Postcard;" the reason for this is because of what one sees in a postcard. Postcards are typically found at a gift shop of some popular tourist destination, or at the airport of a city that frequently travelled. The pictures on a postcard often time represents the the best images of that destination, showcasing it ultimate glory all the wonders of the world. They are the 'picture perfect' image of destinations travelled. I would say it's a frequent occurrence that people visit a location, pick up a postcard and use it to show off to friends and family where they have ventured.

I say that my life is represented by a postcard because throughout my short time here on earth, I have been blessed with so many opportunities to see the wonder and awesomeness that the world has to offer. Sometimes during my travels (or even when I'm local) I look around at my surrounding and marvel that not even a postcard could capture the beauty I see.

Yesterday is a perfect example of this. We went to Hell's Gate National Park, and as we drove from Nairobi we saw the beauty of the Rift Valley and stopped to take pictures. The marvel of it's immenseness leaves one awestruck with wonder. In the park, we see massive rock structures, which speak of days since creation, looming over the vast terrain that sustains zebras and antelope and buffalo.

There are hot water spurts bubbling up steam that rises to the skies and fills the heavens. This natural wonder that is now harvested to bring energy to so many around the country. As I look upon it, I am filled with questions for my Creator. "How did you make these,? "Why?" "Did you know how we would use it?" Later we arrive at a 'spa,' a large pool for recreation, created from the hot water springs. The smell of sulphur is the first thing you notice but then close after, the immense beauty of the surrounding area. Being a Florida girl, I never really swam much in hilly terrain, but this was a different story. From the ends of the steaming blue pool begins a breathtaking sight: the hill slowly creeps upward as it carries trees of all sorts f trees that paint a scene much to perfect for me to describe with words. Amidst the trees there is the elegance of a giraffe that catches every eye. It's purely majestic.

On the road trip home, the sun sets behind a landscape of Acacia trees (also known in my book as "Lion King Trees") and cacti, which are large enough to cut for lumbar, an orange and red glow that even the best of cameras could not capture. My heart reflects on the day and beauty of it all. I truly could stare at the marvellous creation all day and never tire. I am reminded how in Ecclesiastes scripture says that the eye never has seen enough and I know fully that this is the case for me. I look around me and I see all of creation worshipping it's Maker. Truly, truly the rocks do cry out and declare the glre sings as it worships the One who made it.

I am truly blessed beyond measure, that God would allow me to behold His creation, that I can look upon, with great excitement a giraffe crossing the street and a family of zebras taking a break at the waattering hole. I am blessed beyond measure to see the work of His hands so perfectly displayed as if He had made it purely for my enjoyment. Wherever I am, I see the beauty of His work, it's as if my life is a Postcard.

A Gift Without Giving

Before I begin, allow me to make a small disclaimer. This post (and all my posts, really) is based on the observations and experiences of a single individual, an individual who has their own cultural lense and, as we all do, enters situations seeing them from a perspective shaped by her own history and upbringing. The relevance in stating this is that the generalizations stated here (and elsewhere) should not be taken as an absolute truth, or even as "the way things are." They should be viewed in the context of one person's experience and should not be widely applied to all, or any specific, individuals in Keyan. In summary, don't take what I say and think it applies to every Kenyan, such generalizations could cause you to believe and act in error.

Okay, now that's out of the way, let's get going.

Over the season of Christmas, I have noticed something here that is vastly different than what I experience back home. I am used to the holidays coming around and people scrambling to run from store to store in order to find just the right gift for every individual on their list. The people on this list include all those whom the shopper wants to know that they care for them. If someone does not make it to the list, then the love for them is somehow not quite as high as it is for those whom get a gift (if you are one of those people who have never received a gift from me, please do not assume I do not care for you; for several years I have dislikes this system of materialistic affection).

People spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars expressing their "love" to one another. Do I think that this is wrong? No. Do I think that it gets out of hand? Yes, absolutely.
*Why is 'love' in quotes? Well because often times it seems/I have felt that true care for a person is substituted by a cheap trinket on Christmas that says, "I care about you, but I have no idea what's going on in your life nor do I have the time to care, but here is a gift so that we can continue in believing that this friendship is meaningful."

What I have seen this past year (which could also be a reflection of the circles I am involved with rather than how the culture is), is that people do not participate largely in this "gifting" culture. There does not seem to be so much pressure to buy everyone you care about a trinket to prove to them that you care.

Whereas "gifting" is kept to a minimum, the "giving culture is alive and well. It is refreshing to see that not all giving comes as a neatly wrapped chrissy pressy (as my Aussie friends and family would say). People give to one another in many ways: through hosting, through sharing, through caring, through listening and speaking; to name a few.

The beauty of this giving is that it is not confined to a certain season or even a holiday. The people here give what they have, even if it is little, it is enough to share. There is a certain selflessness that I see that is willing to go visit a friend's family in hospital, that calls in on a pal not feeling well, that invites people over at the drop of a hat and prepares a meal what whatever is on hand. Genuine care for people seems to be the norm and as I reflect I think this is how it was meant to be.

Christmas is not so much about us giving gifts to validate someone's rank in our lives, if we care about someone wee should show it... All through the year. Christmas is about God showing us of His ultimate acre for us, in giving us His Son. I'm so happy that His gift does not validate me just on the 25th of Dec. His gift is an everlasting show of His continuous care and love for me.

Please don't leave this page thinking I'm a Christmas-hating, anti-gift-giving holiday scrooge. I do understand that many people give gifts genuinely and from the heart, as for all those that I have received I am extremely grateful. The point I am making is to ask, "Would people know that you care about them in the void of gifts?" If there were no obligation to give, or if you chose not to give, would the people you claim to care about still know you love them?

If I have one thing I am being challenged on this year, it is to show true friendship to those I care about, all through the year; beyond the Christmas phone call and the cheap gift I get to remind the people I "care" about that I haven't forgotten them even though it's been months since we last spoke. This is a personal struggle for me, and if you have been in the wake of my carelessness, I apologize. I truly want to be intentional with maintaining friendships and showing people I care. I want to adopt this genuine love I experience through Christ and this genuine love I see manifested through the lives of many Kenyans. Will you join me?

Learning about Carolyn

So for the longest time, well actually all of my life, I have lived with my family. Even times when I didn't, I still did (6mo in Australia with my Auntie and Uncle). I do not regret this nor do I think it is a bad thing, in fact, if given the chance, I'd do it all over again.

These past two months have been very interesting for me because, for the most of them, I have been living on my own while my roomie was on sabbatical. Being alone (but never lonely) for the first time in 25 years of life provided some interesting perspective.

My first few weeks here, before my roomate left, I was advised by one of the pastors at Nairobi Chapel to begin loving my own company. He said we should all learn to enjoy ourselves, where we do not have the constant need for affirmation from others, but are happy in our own skin and in our own space.

Being a people person, I often would feel bad, or even guilty, if I were not hanging out with people I care about. I had a serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out), so much that in the times when not with others, my worry meant I really was missing out... on enjoying life with me. :)

I'm not saying we should all become self-centered people who are absorbed with alone time. I am saying that I think it can be healthy and, for me, it's helped me to develop better who I am. The truth is, is that before having the chance to experience it, it's hard to know who you are when no one else is around.

Some interesting things I've learned about myself on this new adventure include:

• I cook when I am bored or stressed or want to try something new (who knew?! I never cooked at home)
• I like to dance around the house when no one is watching
• I've found that the audio Bible is awesome to soak in the Word while getting ready for the day
• I'm super happy with a coloring book and a few sharp pencils
• I like to walk any place it's possible (but I already knew that)
• I really enjoy the quiet and having time to think
• A piece of chocolate cake and a coffee shop make a perfect self-date :)
• I'm no longer sad for those who go to the movies by themselves... Because I've been there.

I'd love to know what you do while you've got "alone time." Please feel free to share. :)

Dancing in Delight

The third Sunday of every month Nairobi Chapel hosts their "BnZ" meeting. BnZ (Buttons and Zippers) is a place for ladies, young and old to share together in a lovely meal, learning from God's Word, a time of fellowship and education around selected topic.


November 13, marked the last meeting of the year, and as such, there was a focus around thankfulness. Each one wrote and shared what the Lord had done this year. What encouragement there was in hearing testimony after testimony of the Lord's faithfulness.

People have received jobs, scholarships, healing, awards, grace, mercy, peace... just to name a few. As the end of the year draws near, it's vital that we reflect on the goodness of God. Throughout the Psalms (77:11, 89:1, 105:5, etc.) we are told to remember the works of the Lord, to declare them through all generations.

What is it that the Lord has done for you this year? What of His faithfulness do you need to remember and pass on to others? In the sharing of testimonies there is great power, it is the building up of one another's faith, and your own as you recall the goodness of your God.

After our time of sharing, we danced! and Oh' how we danced. I have no questions that the Heavens also rejoiced as we each expressed from our hearts the joy of knowing the Lord. Each one in their own way, joyfully expressing thanks to a God who is forever good, forever faithful, forever loving and forever with us!!

When the lights go out.

This is a post I wrote a few weeks ago but hadn't had the chance to post, here it is. :)

So, I’ve noticed that Nairobi has an interesting phenomenon. People go about their daily lives and in the middle of whatever you’re doing, it could be at work, at home or even at a movie theatre, at whatever time you are doing it, the power could go off.

Just like that, POOF, gone. No more electricity, not more featured film, not to mention, no more WIFI. However, this in and of itself is not that strange, I mean, after all people all around the world have limitations to electric power. The astonishing thing is, is that no one seems to notice. All the sudden, you go from enjoying dinner with friends at dusk to sitting in the dark. No one flinches, and quite often no one even mentions that something happened.

Being from the West, I have the luxury of plugging into a power source nearly anytime anywhere, with no question whether it will leave me mid-conversation without the signal to send a reply, and without the thought that my movie could end abruptly at even the climax or that I could be half-way to winning a debate only possible by the answers through a Google search.

This was wondersome to me, life goes on, no one pays notice that the source of productivity is gone (e.g. need power to send emails, text, ect.).

How often though, is our spiritual life just like this. We get “plugged in” to Jesus and life is great, we have conversations with God, we enjoy searching the scriptures and learning more; then all the sudden, GONE, no more; I’ve been disconnected from the power source, and what happens?

…Nothing, life goes on as normal, I don’t immediately realize that there is something between me and a productive, fulfilling life. I keep going through the same old motions expecting that something may happen but the scriptures I turn to seem lifeless; just words on a page. The prayers I say seem to hit a glass ceiling and fall right back down to my lap.

So what was it that switched off the power? Well, unrepented sin is much like this, it’s a divisive thing that keeps us from our Almighty power source. Are right with God, or have we just assumed that all is okay? Do you even know if your power has gone out?

Beliefs that we are able to do life on our own also separates us from the Divine nature that we as Christians have been called into (Eph. 1). We must abide in Christ if we are to stay connected to the power source, just like a branch must be connected to the vine if it is to bear fruit so we must be connected to the life-giving power of the Holy Spirit if we are to live fruitful lives.

I’ve been impressed lately with the concept of dying in the flesh (see Gal. 2:20). This is the picture of unplugging your own selfish desires and wants and re-wiring our lives to hook into an everlasting power source. It’s not an easy thing, but the good news is that Christ is an electrician (… well, not really -I don’t think they had electric power in His days, but the figure of speech works for this case). He can help uncross the wires and keep us immersed in His holy, perfect and unending power. Come to Him with an open, repentant heart and ask Him to bring the re-ordering that is needed to get your lights back on. 

Glory to God because He is willing and Able!!