Before I begin, allow me to make a small disclaimer. This post (and all my posts, really) is based on the observations and experiences of a single individual, an individual who has their own cultural lense and, as we all do, enters situations seeing them from a perspective shaped by her own history and upbringing. The relevance in stating this is that the generalizations stated here (and elsewhere) should not be taken as an absolute truth, or even as "the way things are." They should be viewed in the context of one person's experience and should not be widely applied to all, or any specific, individuals in Keyan. In summary, don't take what I say and think it applies to every Kenyan, such generalizations could cause you to believe and act in error.
Okay, now that's out of the way, let's get going.
Over the season of Christmas, I have noticed something here that is vastly different than what I experience back home. I am used to the holidays coming around and people scrambling to run from store to store in order to find just the right gift for every individual on their list. The people on this list include all those whom the shopper wants to know that they care for them. If someone does not make it to the list, then the love for them is somehow not quite as high as it is for those whom get a gift (if you are one of those people who have never received a gift from me, please do not assume I do not care for you; for several years I have dislikes this system of materialistic affection).
People spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars expressing their "love" to one another. Do I think that this is wrong? No. Do I think that it gets out of hand? Yes, absolutely.
*Why is 'love' in quotes? Well because often times it seems/I have felt that true care for a person is substituted by a cheap trinket on Christmas that says, "I care about you, but I have no idea what's going on in your life nor do I have the time to care, but here is a gift so that we can continue in believing that this friendship is meaningful."
What I have seen this past year (which could also be a reflection of the circles I am involved with rather than how the culture is), is that people do not participate largely in this "gifting" culture. There does not seem to be so much pressure to buy everyone you care about a trinket to prove to them that you care.
Whereas "gifting" is kept to a minimum, the "giving culture is alive and well. It is refreshing to see that not all giving comes as a neatly wrapped chrissy pressy (as my Aussie friends and family would say). People give to one another in many ways: through hosting, through sharing, through caring, through listening and speaking; to name a few.
The beauty of this giving is that it is not confined to a certain season or even a holiday. The people here give what they have, even if it is little, it is enough to share. There is a certain selflessness that I see that is willing to go visit a friend's family in hospital, that calls in on a pal not feeling well, that invites people over at the drop of a hat and prepares a meal what whatever is on hand. Genuine care for people seems to be the norm and as I reflect I think this is how it was meant to be.
Christmas is not so much about us giving gifts to validate someone's rank in our lives, if we care about someone wee should show it... All through the year. Christmas is about God showing us of His ultimate acre for us, in giving us His Son. I'm so happy that His gift does not validate me just on the 25th of Dec. His gift is an everlasting show of His continuous care and love for me.
Please don't leave this page thinking I'm a Christmas-hating, anti-gift-giving holiday scrooge. I do understand that many people give gifts genuinely and from the heart, as for all those that I have received I am extremely grateful. The point I am making is to ask, "Would people know that you care about them in the void of gifts?" If there were no obligation to give, or if you chose not to give, would the people you claim to care about still know you love them?
If I have one thing I am being challenged on this year, it is to show true friendship to those I care about, all through the year; beyond the Christmas phone call and the cheap gift I get to remind the people I "care" about that I haven't forgotten them even though it's been months since we last spoke. This is a personal struggle for me, and if you have been in the wake of my carelessness, I apologize. I truly want to be intentional with maintaining friendships and showing people I care. I want to adopt this genuine love I experience through Christ and this genuine love I see manifested through the lives of many Kenyans. Will you join me?
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